Night of the Total Idiots
by ShadowStalker11
Summary: The Organization is thrown into chaos when a simple party bash turns into an idiotic quest to survive.[Rated T for heavy explicit language, use of alchohol, mild violence, and sexual humor] CHAPTER 4 IS UP!
1. The Trouble Begins

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Kingdom Hearts or any of the characters, or the person Blockhead who appears in Chapter 11. I also give credit to AxelN for the Scalding Emo thing.

**Organization Party**

**Chapter 1**

"What?" said Xemnas the Superior hurriedly on his cell phone, "Yes, yes, of course. WTF? I don't understand. Oh…Ok! Bye!" He shut the phone off and turned to the 12 nobodies in front of him.

"I have an important meeting thing with Sephiroth, so you guys have to watch over the castle. Saix is in charge. Ok gotta dash!" He jumped in his Gummi Ship and steered away.

"Couldn't he just teleport?" asked Larxene.

Axel looked around and said, "So! Waddya wanna do this lovely afternoon?"

"We could play tag," suggested Demyx.

"Sissy game," said Luxord, "Let's gamble."

"No way!" said Marluxia, "You always win. I'd rather tell all of you a third of my garden is marijuana!"

The 11 members glared at him.

"Well, I was going to sell half of them on eBay…"

"So any suggestions?' asked Xaldin.

Everyone scratched their chin thoughtfully. Then Demyx jumped up.

"I KNOW! SINCE SUPERIOR'S NOT HERE LET'S WRECK THIS PLACE APART AND KILL STUFF!"

"You know..." said Vexen, nodding thoughtfully, "I never thought I'd hear Demyx make a smart statement...but I stand corrected. KILLING TIME!!!" And with that Organization XIII pelted off towards random loacations, yelling and swinging their weapons around like maniacs.

Larxene ran into the elevator and bumped into Demyx.

"Larxene you are so mean to me!" cried Demyx, "I'm going to go to the Hall of Empty Melodies to unleash maximum chaos even though I know I shoudn't!"

The lift stopped and Demyx jumped out. He ran over to a random button that popped out of nowhere and jumped onto it. A gate opened and an angry Twilight Thorn stepped out and blasted a hole in the wall. It walked away into the wreckage.

"Ga!" screamed Larxene and pushed Demyx out of the way.

Meanwhile, Saix and Luxord were in a drunken bet on Saix's drinking. One hundred bottle, ten minutes. Saix had 3 seconds to drain his hundredth bottle.

"3…2…1…0! Ha time's up!" said Luxord triumphantly.

"But…" stuttered Saix, "I only have half a bottle to go…"

"Pay up." Said Luxord, holding out his hand.

"GGGGGGGGGGGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" screamed Saix as he glowed red and then he ran out of the room smashing everything in front of him.

"Guys!" yelled Luxord, getting up and running to the Organization members, "Saix is in Berserk Mode again!"

"OMFG!" screamed Axel and the 9 of them ran out of the room.

Saix's yells could be heard although he was somewhere far above. Suddenly the yell changed course and Saix ran past them, still in Berserk Mode but screaming in terror. Then an angry giant Twilight Thorn stumped into the hall with Larxene and Demyx running their way.

Axel ran to the left while the rest of them turned to the right. Axel charged down the steps and almost ran into Saix, standing twitching in a corner and his claymore still in his hand.

"Now, now Saix," said Axel, taking a few reluctant steps towards the Moon Dancing Demon and summoning his chakrams, "calm down. It's ok. We'll get you a beer or-"

Saix seethed and summoned another claymore.

Axel gulped. How many of those things did he have…

Demyx tripped over the banister while running through Naught's Skyway and fell down, down…until he smashed onto Luxord's room.

"How the hell does he relax in here?" Demyx said to himself as he observed the sheer drop on the other end. Running back to Proof of Existence he saw the Organization still running from the Twilight Thorn. For some unknown reason the Thorn decided it wanted to go into Luxord's room and commit suicide by jumping into the pit on the far end.

"Uh…" said Xaldin as they watched the Thorn fall into the depths.

"Aw!" said Marluxia as he saw the moogle on the far side of the room, "THAT IS THE MOST FUCKIN ADORABLE DAMN SHIT I HAVE EVER SEEN!!"

The rest of the members walked away as Marluxia continued to hug the squirming moogle.

Meanwhile Axel was running like hell as Saix with his 4 claymores (2 were hovering above his head) charged at the redhead.

Axel decided to seek shelter in his room. He made it just in time, and Saix's screams abruptly stopper and there was a crash and silence.

Axel sighed deeply. Suddenly Zexion teleported into his room and started rapping.

"Yo homey G is bad ass D! Yo Zexy is not Tavana Nui! Yo Axel V is se-e-xy! Yo gonna V yo VVV!"

Axel barely recognized the emo kid with a gold chain around his neck, a sleeveless shirt, and some baggy boxers. "…Zexy?"

"Who the MGE is Zexy m' Keckxy?" said Zexion, "I am the reincarnation of Michael Jackson!"

"Nooooooooooooooo!" cried Axel as he ran out his door. Saix was just rousing as Axel flung open the door and smashed Saix unconscious again.

"Help! I'm being chased by a gay man!" cried Axel as 'Michael Jackson' chased him down Naught's Skyway.

"Yo homey comey backey here! I'm gonna yo frizzle do shizzle!" rapped Zexion aka Michael Jackson.

Axel was about as freaked out as he ever was in his life.

Saix got up from the floor drowsily. Being hit in the head two times gave him the urge to drink something very alcoholic.

Walking to the kitchen, he found several beer bottles. He opened them and started drinking.

Meanwhile Demyx was being his usual buttheaded self as the party commenced again. He wasn't at the party, and was actually getting lost in the Castle That Never Was. He actually wandered out into the Realm of Darkness before he realized-

"Oh god! I'm lost!" he cried as he stared around at the dark skyscrapers around him.

He was still looking around when suddenly a Shadow appeared. "Hey," it said, "You want to buy some paupu leaves?"

"Um…" said Demyx. He obviously hadn't seen _Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones _so he didn't know how to respond.

"You want to buy paupu leaves," said the Shadow.

"I want to buy paupu leaves," said Demyx. He took out 5000 munny ang gave it to the Shadow.

"You want to throw your sitar out the window when you get home," said the shadow.

"I want to throw my sitar out the window when I get-hey!" cried Demyx, jumping up, "Gimme my 5000 munny back!"

"No"

"God dammit give me the fucking munny!"

"Oooo," said the Shadow, "No cussing

Demyx swore several times then summoned 20 water clones. "Dance, water, dance!"

The Shadow turned into the Grim Reaper.

"Oh…" said Demyx as his water clones were demolished…

Larxene was walking out of the ballroom and went into her own room when she heard a voice.

"Larxene…She's in love with Axel!"

Larxene stared in shock.

"Yes…She's speechless with love."

"I am not!" cried Larxene.

"Larxene…She's afraid to admit it or else Roxas will kick her sorry ass!"

Larxene seethed.

'Larxene…she wants to shounai with Axel!"

Larxene's fingernails dug into her hand.

"Larxene…She is torn with tragedy!"

Larxene's hands were bleeding.

"Larxene…She can't decide whether to choose Marluxia or Axel!"

"XALDIN!" roared Larxene as she grabbed above her head. Sure enough the Lancer was crushed in her grasp, wriggling to get free.

"Larxene! I didn't mean to! It was a joke! It-Oh come on please…"

Demyx ran like hell. He ran so fast, he didn't see Marluxia until he bumped into him.

"MaryougottahelpmecausethisginatgrimreaperheartlessIthoughtwasa shadowismadatmeandchasingmeandtryingtoripmyinsestinesout!" screamed Demyx.

Marluxia stared at Demyx for a second. "…Wa?"

Demyx repeated his overly long sentence about the Grim Reaper.

"So?" said Marluxia.

Demyx was about to say the overly long sentence again until he let out a high pitched squeal.

Marluxia looked around and saw the Grim Reaper. "HOLY SHIT!"

Both guys ran so fast that they didn't see Xemnas until they bumped into him.

"Xemnas!" cried Marluxia.

"What the fuck is going on?" grumbled Xemnas.

Demyx repeated his overly long sentence again.

"Then we must take immediate action! To infinity and beyond!" cried Xemnas.

Marluxia and Demyx looked at the superior suspiciously.

"Um, I mean, to the emergency meeting room!" yelled Xemnas. Then the superior ran down the hallway .

"Couldn't he just teleport?" asked Demyx.

"Oh, you know him," said Marluxia as they disappeared into their black portals.

Axel was safe-for the moment.

He had run halfway around the whole castle until 'Z dawg' (as Zexion had most recently called himself) had gotten lost and Axel was now hiding in the Dumpster in the basement.

"Well, no Zexion here?"

"Waddya mean?"

"Oh no! He found me!" wailed Axel as the shape of Zexion loomed over him.

"Axel? What in hell is wrong with you?" said Zexion.

"Zex? Oh, Zexy, I'm so glad to see you! And you're back to normal!" yelled Axel as he started hugging Zexion telling him about 'Z dawg'.

"Get off me!" said the silver haired emo kid, "and why are you down here? I thought you told me you were going to be having sex with Larxene."

Axel turned a shade of vivid red matching his hair. "That was out loud?"

"Sure was. Anyway, this 'Z dawg', you say, was impersonating me and rapping?"

"Yep!" said Axel.

"He's going to spoil my reputation of most emo person in the Castle! We must stop him!" cried Zexion.

"What's in it for me?" asked Axel, raising his eyebrows.

Zexion sighed. "You get my allowance for a month."

"Done deal!" cried Axel enthusiastically.

The pair then ran out the door in search of the infamous 'Z dawg'.


	2. The Trouble Continues

**Chapter 2**

Meanwhile Saix suddenly realized he had been drinking beer for the last 5 hours.

He shrugged and gulped down his 503rd bottle that day. He walked out of the kitchen and bumped into Demyx, who apparently had been trying to teleport again. Saix yelled out in shock and fell down the stairs. He landed flat on his face.

After he got up he glared so hard at poor Demyx that Saix's eyes were actually burning through Demyx's cloak.

"Ow!" cried Demyx, exactly the way he screamed in KH 2 when he gets knocked back.

"God dammit Demyx you fucking fucker of a fuck damn fuck fucker fucking shit ass bitch fuck crap fucking fucker fuck!" screamed Saix.

"Um…colorful vocabulary?" squeaked Demyx.

"GAAAAAAAAAA!" screamed Saix for the second time as he went into Berserk Mode. Then Demyx did one thing any sensible person would do-he ran like hell.

Saix cussed more as he chased after Demyx down the Hall of Empty Melodies, through Naught's Approach, through Proof of Existence, past a confused looking Luxord, through Ruin and Creation's Passage, to the Altar of Naught, where Demyx was cornered by Saix and the Luna Diviner was laughing like a crazy damn lunatic.

"Finally!" he screamed, foam coming out of his mouth and splashing Demyx on the face, "I've wanted to do this for a long time!"

"No!" cried Demyx.

Suddenly Xemnas's Dragon Ship went haywire and smashed Saix off the platform.

"I WILL GET YOU!" cried Saix as he fell into the abyss.

Demyx looked at the now giggling Dragon Ship, the looked down at Saix making an obscene hand gesture at him, and then suddenly looked behind him.

"AH!" screamed Demyx as the Grim Reaper killed the Dragon Ship and reached towards Demyx.

"I've been waiting for this moment…" said the Reaper.

"Please-don't kill me!" squeaked Demyx.

"Kill you?" said the Grim Reaper, looking puzzled, "I just wanted your autograph, I mean, you are a very cool and sexy guitarist, and you know…"

"Wait," said Demyx, "So you are not going to smash me, remove my internal organs, piledrive me and piss on my remains?"

"Why the hell would I do that?" asked the Reaper, "I just want your autograph on my body!"

Demyx signed the Reaper's, um; you might no want to know. Anyway after that, the Grim reaper giggled like a little girl and died for no reason whatsoever. Demyx shrugged and went back down the stairs to find Marluxia.

Saix fell onto Zexion.

That sums it up. The keebler elf fell onto the emo kid.

He looked up at Zexion and gasped. Zexion was wearing sleeveless shorts, baggy pants, and a gold chain around his neck.

"Zexion?" asked Saix cautiously, "is that you-"

He couldn't finish his sentence, as Zexion had suddenly jumped on top of him and pinned him down.

"Where's the babe?" he screamed, foam hitting Saix on the face.

"You mean Larxene? I dunno." said Saix, staring at the drooling Zexion.

"I must fuck her!" screamed Zexion again.

"Dude what the hell is wrong with you?" yelled Saix, "You're too emo to make personal relationships!"

"That's what you think, punk!" snarled Zexion. Saix's face was drenched with Zexion's saliva.

Suddenly Larxene came walking down the hall, holding an unconscious, beat up, and bloody Xaldin.

"ANYONE ELSE WANT TO SAY IT?" she yelled.

Suddenly Zexion jumped off Saix and tore off Larxene's cloak.

"Zex-what the hell are you doing?" she screamed as Zexion attempted to pry her T shirt off.

"I'm not Zex-I'm Z Dawg!" said Z Dawg.

"Get…off…me!" screamed Larxene as Z Dawg tore off her T shirt.

Larxene zapped Z Dawg with 1,000,000,000,000 billion volts, but Z Dawg was still attempting to lick her face.

Suddenly Axel bust into the room. "Get your damn shit paws off my GF!" he yelled and set Z Dawg's 'thing' on fire.

"No! My only weakness!" said the rapper/ gangsta/ homo man.

The real Zexion burst into the room and kicked Z Dawg into the abyss below the Castle That Never Was.

"Um, did I miss something?" asked Demyx as he wandered into the room. His eyes darted around the crowd. "OMFG IT'S SAIX!" yelled Demyx and he ran out of the room.

"Yo wazzup." said Xigbar, who had taken no part in the story until this point, for no particular reason whatsoever.

"Um…this is awkward." said Axel.

Everyone stood in silence looking at each other.

Well, let's just say they stood there for a long time.

Marluxia looked threateningly at the people gathered around him. He looked tall and menacing. And what was he doing? Prepare to freak out.

"More tea for you, Mrs. Fluffykins?" he asked a stuffed doll to his right. The Graceful Assassin giggled girlishly and poured some tea into his teacup. Yes, his room was decorated in lavish pink, and he was having a tea party. He's not exactly gay; he's just…overly feminine.

"Mar?" said an annoying voice he recognized as Demyx's.

Marluxia jumped up and pressed a button immediately. His room turned back into its original white.

"What do you want Demyx?"

"Hey dude do you have like, 20 dollars? I want to buy some cookies."

"What if I said no?"

Demyx's lower lip twitched. Tears formed in his eyes and he burst out of the room screaming.

Marluxia looked in disgust at the Melodious Nocturne and pressed the button again. His room turned back into the fluffy pink hell that you can all visualize.

"Now, Mr. Funny Buny, want more tea...?"

Meanwhile Vexen sat around in his lab. This party thing had been a total failure, and the castle was in chaos. He tried to make a happy potion, but all he managed was diarrhea and constipation.

"One last try." He sighed, and he gulped down a purple liquid. Suddenly, Vexen twitched. The glass dropped, and his skin turned grey. He had turned into an emo scientist genius guy!

"Muhahaha!' yelled Vexen, "I will turn everyone in this castle emo!"

Xemnas arranged the papers on the desk. Why hadn't anyone come to his emergency meeting? Suddenly a guy with a yellow head walked into the room.

"Who are you?" asked Xemnas warily.

"Mmmmmm. Mmmmmmm!" said the man.

"Are you gonna answer me-?"

"-Now, or earlier?" the man cut in, grinning like an idiot.

"Now! Right now!" snarled Xemnas.

"The thrill…of the hunt!" said the man.

"Dude, what's your name?" asked Xemnas.

"I'm Blockhead." said Blockhead, still grinning like a SOAB.

"What is your purpose here?" asked Xemnas

"Is this the bathroom?" said Blockhead.

"Uh, no this is the emergency meeting room."

"What? Don't you ever want to piss?"

"I do! It's just this isn't the bathroom, you fucker!" snarled Xemnas, starting to get impatient with this retarded idiot.

"You're just jealous because I threw insults at the Dusks!" said Blockhead happily.

"You…what?"

"Oh, I gave those rascals a piece of my mind!" said Blockhead.

_FLASHBACK_

_Some Dusks are gliding around the place. Blockhead walks up to them._

"_Hey you blackmailer, you…ruffian, you…person thingy!"_

_END FLASHBACK_

"Um…right."

"Yeah!" said Blockhead.

"So…what do you want?" asked Xemnas.

"I want to show everyone in the castle the Buster Sword I stole from Cloud!" shouted Blockhead.

Suddenly Vexen crept up behind Blockhead and poured emo on him. Suddenly Blockhead began to turn grey. His eyes bulged as he took out a pair of scissors.

"No…must resist temptation…to…cut wrist! No…must not…slit throat…gack."

Blockhead stabbed his stomach and he died (No freaking duh) as Vexen walked up to Xemnas with more emo.

"No, Vexen! I'm your Superior! I command you to…No!..."


	3. WAR OF UBER DOOM

Well, I haven't updated for a long time, haven't I? Well, this is the latest chapter, and the next is coming up very soon…AND I DON'T OWN ANYTHING BUT THE STORY!!!

And sadly, I have deleted "Larxene's Study Group". It interfered with the whole plotline (If my story even has one), but it shall live on in your memories. And without further adou, allow me to present...

**Chapter 4**

Zexion twiddled his thumbs as he paced nervously around the room. He checked the clock. _Damn, he's still not here…_ He wandered around until suddenly he saw a dark form rise p from the mist at the end of the corridor. After a few staggering steps the figure turned out to be Xemnas/Mansex, wearing Goth chains and several cuts on his bare wrists.

"Superior!" said Zexion as he walked towards his boss, surprise on his face, "What happened-?"

"MAH LIFE SUCKS!" screamed Xemnas as he pulled pit an x-acto knife from his pocket gashed his wrists.

"Superior! I know how you feel, but you have to calm down!" Zexion attempted to push the knife out of Xemnas's hand, but all of a sudden The Superior swiped Zexion off his feet. As he faced the ceiling, an ominous dark figure rose above him.

"Vexen! Tell him to stop! What…" Zexion looked into Vexen's gray face, the emo look of fanatical glee, "What the fuck is going on?"

"AHAHAHAHA!" Vexen's eye twitched as he pulled out a bucket of shitlike potion.

"Eeeeew…!" cried Zexion.

"THOU SHALT TURN THEE EMO!" he cried, and darkness enveloped Zexion as the potion ran over his face.

Outside of the Castle, another, darker, more ominous force approached…AN ARMY OF RABID FANGIRLS HAD COME TO TAKE THE ORGANIZATION HOSTAGE!

A short blonde stepped out with a megaphone and screamed into the night that surrounded the Castle.

"GET THE FUCK OUT HERE SO WE CAN RAPE YOU AND HAVE FUN AND MARRY!" she cried.

Within, an emergency meeting was being held. Strangely, only four members were present.

Larxene glared around. "Why is no one here besides us?"

Axel shrugged. "Beats me. Maybe they're HAVING TEA PARTIES!!!??? COUGH COUGH!"

"Shut up Axel!" snarled Marluxie and he bitch slapped the pyro. Demyx immediately fell silent.

Saix rubbed his forehead then sighed. "Three will not be enough to break the ranks of the fangirls."

Suddenly, the door burst open, and rain lashed in as a person walked into the room, Lord of the Rings style.

"Can it be…?" said Larxene.

"YES!" cried Superman, as he walked inside, cape billowing behind him. "I HAVE COME TO-" All of a sudden he fell dead as he got a heart attack.

"Can it be…?" said Larxene again.

"YES!" said Kira/Light/Raito Yagami (from Death Note). "I AM KIRA, AND I AM HERE TO SAVE YOU ALL FROM THE WRATH OF THE FANGIRLS!"

Larxene immediately started drooling, "OMIGOSHLIGHTIAMAHUGEFANEEEAAAAHH!" Larxene drew put a hand and started unbuttoning Raito's shirt.

"HOLY HELL FUCK NO!" cried Axel as he pulled Larxene away from Kira.

"GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF WOMAN!" cried Axel as he started shaking Larxene vigorously.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LISTEN!" cried Saix, and everyone fell silent. "I believe Raito has a plan…"

Light nodded, then pulled out a diagram. Marluxia frowned. "That diagram doesn't make sense at all."

"Yeah, I just put it there when I start explaining things so I look cool."

"..."

"Anyway," said Raito, "First, I need all of your underwear. Except for Larxene's"

"Why not…?' simpered the nymph. Marluxia bitch slapped her.

"I KNEW IT!" yelled Axel, pointing an accusing finger at Kira. "HE'S GAY! HE'S ASKING US TO GET NAKED!"

"Did I ever say that?" Raito raised an eyebrow, "Anyway, we need to provide a distraction-"

"OH! OH! I WANNA BE THE DISTRACTION!" yelled Marluxia.

"And…how would you do so…?"

"OKAY! WE GO OUTSIDE, AND THEN WE…nevermind."

"Ooookaaay…" said Kira, looking rather disturbed, then turned his attention back to the council, "We launch our underwear to Mars."

"WHAT?" yelled Saix.

"EXACTLY!" cried Axel. Marluxia bitch slapped him.

"GOD FUCKIN DAMMIT MAR MAR STOP BITCH SLAPPIN ME!" yelled Axel. Yet again Marluxia bitch slapped him.

"Get a hold of yourself you biznatch." said Marluxia.

"And how would that help?" Saix asked, fingers poised.

"Fans will chase after anything as long it's been on their fandom's asses," said Raito, "The castle in impenetrable, so as long as it holds, the fangirls will go after the nearest source of obtainable fandomness."

"Um…" Saix looked rather nervous.

"Yes?"

"There is, one weakness…" Saix glared at the table, "THE DONUTS."

"Donuts? You mean like as-?" Axel began, but Marluxia bitch slapped him again.

"Shut up."

"Please continue Saix," said Raito intently.

"Our walls are made of one hundred percent nothingness…however, if donuts were to touch any part of our walls, the wall would slowly disintegrate. Since that is obtainable, we might be having a siege war." said Saix.

"IF IT'S A WAR THEY WANT, A WAR THEY SHALL GET!" screamed Axel. This time Marluxia did not bitch slap him.

"AGREED!"

"YES."

"MY MOM!" cried Demyx, who had been hiding in the shadows.

"What…the…FUCK," said Marluxia.

"This is it then…" said Saix, "TONIGHT, WE DINE IN HELL!"


	4. Attack of the Fangirls

**AUTHOR'S NOTES**: This chapter took longer than I thought. I got writers block, and school started. XX Please don't be mad at me…

**DISCLAIMER**: I don't own anything but the story…but SOMEDAY, I shall own Kingdom Hearts and Death Note…someday…

And without further crap, I present…

**Chapter 4**

"Last one," said Saix, looking at the pile of underwear on the table, "I guess we can put our plan into effect now. Where's the cannon?"

"Marluxia's gone to get it, it's in the basement." Axel stared longingly at his boxers. "That was my favorite rocketship pair…"

Light kicked the wall. "Where the hell is Marluxia anyway? He's been gone for an hour."

Demyx shrugged. "Tea parties?"

"No, no, Mar only has tea parties on Tuesday…today is Wanking Wednesday, so most probably Mar is jacking off somewhere…" Axel drummed his fingers on the desk impatiently.

Meanwhile, Marluxia screamed and ran through the basement, a gray-skinned Vexen holding his shit potion above his head, screaming something about emo ness and Marluxia's tesicles. Suddenly Flower boy tripped over an ant and fell face down in the ground, and with a pang of horror he saw the potion splash over his legs. Immediately he began to feel and urge to slit his throat.

"Must…enjoy…life!!!" Marluxia cried. But it was too late as Vexen, insanity in his eyeshadowed pupils, poured another bucketful of potion over Mar's face, blotting out any hope.

Outside of the castle, ten thousand fangirls stood outside, banging their umbrellas as though they were spears to the ground, screaming like Uruk-hai. The racket was heard even within the deepest dungeons of the castle.

"Damn it, we can't wait for Mar anymore! Our only option now is to hold them off!" Saix grabbed his claymore and rushed out the door. Suddenly a Speedster crashed through the window and a Goth and punk boy with weird glasses jumped off. As the dust cleared, the forms were Matt and Mello (from Death Note) and they jumped out with all firearms held out.

"What the fucking hell are you two doing here?" Axel screamed with unnecessary force, seeing as they were only two feet apart.

"Oh, we were being chased by fangirls, so we decided we'd join you and fight them off." Matt adjusted his glasses and leaned over to Larxene. "Hey babe."

Larxene sniffed and walked to the other side of the room.

"Is it just you or are more people coming?" Kira asked.

"Oh no, L, Misa, and Takada are going to crash through that other window in a few seconds," said Mello, taking a huge bite out of his chocolate bar.

And a few seconds later a small sedan crashed through Demyx's favorite window (featuring grass having sex) and out of it jumped the blond Goth and she leaped onto Light, making him fall over with the force of her glomp.

"Misa…please…get off me…"

"YES LIGHT-KUN!!!" she squealed and jumped up. Suddenly Takada got in the way and started singing at Raito…

"HEY HEY YOU YOU I DON'T LIKE YOUR GIRLFRIEND! NO WAY NO WAY I THINK YOU NEED A NEW ONE! HEY HEY YOU YOU I COULD BE YOUR GIRLFIREND!!!" screamed Takada.

(Girlfriend song by Avril Lavigne and is not owned in any way, shape, or form by me)

Larxene bitch slapped both girls. "Light is MINE!"

"Popular as ever, eh Light-kun?" said L/Ryuzaki, getting off the car, chewing on one of his nails.

"Now is not the time," said Saix, "We must fight the fangirls!"

So after a complex military plan I'm too lazy to go over, the 'army' took their places at the castle perimeter.

"SHOW THEM NO MERCY." Said Saix, "FOR YOU SHALL RECEIVE NONE IN RETURN!"

But Demyx was too sugar high and his finger spasmed against his de-fangirlizer 12 caliber, and shot a fangirl in the neck, who promptly stopped screaming and walked home and started having a life.

"FIRE!!!" cried Mello, and several more fangirls turned into a person with a life, but thousands more charged up to the wall, holding out notepads and screaming for their autographs.

"If we could use grenades…" said Matt, "I could wipe out this army in no time."

"Sorry man, but killing girls goes against my code." Said Light.

"…didn't you kill me in the manga?" said Takada.

"But didn't you kill Takada in the manga?" said Near, throwing several anti-fangirl dart pins at the horde below.

"Ssssshhhh! Supposed to be a secret!"

"Ladders!" yelled Demyx.

Several candy cane made ladders smashed against the walls and fangirls started running up them like ants.

"Back to the keep!" yelled Saix, and everyone pelted back inside just as the first of the rabid fangirls climbed over the ladder.

Everyone ran into the control room, where the cameras oversaw tens of thousands of fangirls overrunning the castle. The door was bolted shut an hidden, but it was only a matter of time before the fangirls found their hideout.

Light kicked the floor in frustration. "Great. Now we're all trapped here. What do we do now?"

Near went into a long list of extremely detailed explanations of what they could do that put Misa, Takada, Mello, Matt, and the Organization Members to sleep.

"Hopeless poor less IQ-High people," said Near.

A sudden pounding on the door made everyone wake up again.

"LET US IN! LET'S SEX! LET MARRY! LET'S HAVE CHILDREN! LET'S DO A NUMBER OF OTHER TOTALLY WRONG BUT ENJOYABLE THINGS!" screamed the lead fangirl.

"What do we do?" cried Demyx.

Suddenly the door was busted open, and a dark shape loomed over them…a rather familiar shape…

"It can't be…!" said Axel…


End file.
